Dennis Becker - Stories

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Ronald and the Shoe Lace Monster

Ronald had a problem. Ronald had a monster-sized problem. Every time Ronald took off his shoes the Shoe Lace Monster would come out of hiding, shuffle across the floor and pounce on Ronald’s shoes. Then he would thrash around and around. When he was finished, Ronald’s laces were tied in knots.

When Ronald went to put on his shoes the laces were knotted tight. So he slipped them on without untying them. His mother would yell, “Ronald, untie your shoe laces before putting on your shoes.” His father would yell, “Ronald, you’ll wreck the back of your shoes if you don’t untie them.”

Ronald sat down to think. He thought and he thought. “I have to get rid of the Shoe Lace Monster. I just have to.” He thought some more. And Ronald came up with a monster-sized idea.

Monsters are afraid of salt, Ronald thought. Ronald climbed onto the cupboard and pulled down the box of salt. He made a ring of salt on the floor. Then he slipped off his shoes and put them in the circle of salt.

Immediately, the Shoe Lace Monster came out of hiding. He shuffled across the floor singing, “Ice cream, spiders, kitchen sinks, pots, I’m going to tie Ronald’s laces in knots.” Then he spied the circle of salt. He stopped. He looked. Then he reached into his monster-sized pocket and pulled out a monster-sized radish. He licked it. He dipped it into the salt. He took a bite. He did it again and again until all the salt was gone.

Then he pounced on Ronald’s shoes. He thrashed around and around. And when he was finished, Ronald’s laces were tied in knots.

When Ronald saw his laces tied in knots he said, “I have to get rid of the Shoe Lace Monster. I just have to.” So he thought and thought. And he thought some more. And Ronald came up with a monster-sized idea.

“Pepper will do the trick.” Ronald climbed onto the cupboard and took down the pepper shaker. He pulled off his shoes and before the Shoe Lace Monster could attack he dumped the whole shaker of pepper on his laces. He sneezed and he sneezed.

The Shoe Lace Monster jumped from his hiding place. He shuffled across the floor singing, “Ice cream, spiders, kitchen sinks, pots, I’m going to tie Ronald’s laces in knots.” Then he spied the pepper. He stopped. He looked. Then he sucked in all the air from the room, Whoosh. He grew so full of air that he filled the whole room. Then he blew. Shwoosh! He blew up a pepper storm so big that the sun sneezed and sneezed. He blew that pepper all the way to the Dead Sea.

Then he pounced on Ronald’s shoes. He thrashed around and around. And when he was finished, Ronald’s laces were tied in knots.

“Honey is just the ticket.” Ronald climbed onto the cupboard and took down the honey pot. He took off his shoes and before the Shoe Lace Monster could attack he slathered the honey all over his laces. His fingers were so sticky that he could hardly get them apart.

The Shoe Lace Monster sprang from his hiding place. He shuffled across the floor singing, “Ice cream, spiders, kitchen sinks, pots, I’m going to tie Ronald’s laces in knots.” Then he spied the honey. He stopped. He looked. He reached into his monster-sized pocket and pulled out a monster-sized bee hive. The bees swarmed over Ronald’s shoes and drank up all the honey.

Then the monster pounced on Ronald’s shoes. He thrashed around and around. And when he was finished, Ronald’s laces were tied in knots.

“Tacks ought to do it,” Ronald cried. Ronald climbed onto the cupboard and pulled down a box of tacks. Before he pried off his shoes, he stuck the whole box of tacks into his laces. Then he pulled off his shoes and left them by the door.

Immediately, the Shoe Lace Monster lunged from his hiding place. He shuffled across the floor singing, “Ice cream, spiders, kitchen sinks, pots, I’m going to tie Ronald’s laces in knots.” Then he spotted the tacks. He stopped. He looked. Then he reached into his monster sized pockets and pulled out a monster-sized magnet. He waved it around and all the tacks leaped from the laces, and flew through the air to the magnet.

When every last tack was clinging to his magnet, the Shoe Lace Monster pounced on Ronald’s shoes. He thrashed around and around. And when he was finished, Ronald’s laces were tied in knots.

When Ronald saw his laces tied in knots he said, “I have to get rid of the Shoe Lace Monster. I just have to.” So he thought and thought. And he thought some more. But Ronald could think of no more ideas. He thought more and as he thought his fingers played with his laces. He pulled one lace, then the other. His laces became untied. Ronald continued to think; he continued to pull at his laces. But he could not think of any new ideas. So he slipped off his untied shoes and left them by the door, saying, “Here Shoe Lace Monster. They are all yours.”

Immediately, the Shoe Lace Monster bounced out of his hiding place. he shuffled across the floor singing, “Ice cream, spiders, kitchen sinks, pots, I’m going to tie Ronald’s laces in knots.” Then he spied the untied shoes. He stopped. He looked. He let out a loud scream. A look of horror crossed his face. He reached into his monster-sized pocket. He fished around and around but he couldn’t find anything to beat the untied laces.

So he gathered himself up as big as could be. And he said, “I’ll be leaving now. I will go to Suzie’s house. Suzie does not untie her shoes. I know.”

And the Shoe Lace Monster left Ronald’s house through the chimney.

When Ronald saw his laces weren’t tied in knots he said, “Where is the Shoe Lace Monster? Is he gone?”

That night he untied his shoes again before taking them off. The next morning, no knots. He did this for eleven days. No knots.

Never again did his mother yell, “Ronald untie your shoe laces before putting on your shoes.” Never again did his father yell, “Ronald, you’ll wreck the back of your shoes if you don’t untie them.”

For Ronald had chased away the Shoe Lace Monster. Forever.